It’s been awhile since I’ve written for public consumption! I have come to know this about creativity: the longer you don’t do what you love, the momentum slows down, you create a ‘backlog’ and the Trickery of the Ego slides its sticky long gnarly fingers into any crack of resistance and spawns Doubt. Evil Doubt is what I like to call it!  Then you start to notice the feel and smell of fear as doubt starts to rot and seduces you to go look for its roots. When you go looking for reasons and causes and trying to ‘get to the bottom’ of an issue, our minds trick us into thinking if we could uncover that one dark forgotten detail and unlock it, we will be happy ever after. Not only does it not work, we just get further down that rabbit hole! Good gets better and bad gets worse! So here I am again with you, writing and smiling and loving that I am victorious and I’m back!!

Deep breath! Here’s something amazing. I saw an article recounting the live presentation of  Naval Admiral William H. McRaven giving a recent commencement speech.  He is one of our formidable Navy SEALs. I’ll let you read for yourself because a nutshell version isn’t substantial. http://www.lifebuzz.com/10-lessons-from-navy-seal/#!Vyh2H After I read this speech and also the book Lone Survivor and movie about SEAL Marcus Luttrell detailing their grueling training, this is what knocked me out:

They use what they learned and experienced from their training but they didn’t dwell on the process they went through. They incorporate their experience into their day to day lives now, their passion, their identity.   The 14 years of the time spent in my marriage and building and nurturing our company were in large part like my personal version of SEAL training. Insane, powerful, sleepless, sacrificial, rewarding, courageous, expansive, disciplined, hilarious, unpredictable, gut-wrenching. Early last Sunday morning, after reading Admiral McRavens words, I grabbed my cappuccino and went upstairs to meditate and journal. My journals are very personal to me. They aren’t diaries where I list the events of the previous day, To Do’s, any of that. I simply meditate first, then grab the journal, put the date and place on the top right hand corner and write: Dear One,

The rest is the Guidance that comes through. It inspires me, reminds me, directs me, and unconditionally loves me.  Here in part, is what was written Sunday. I want to share this very personal message:

Dear One,

We are here to remind you to doubt not that who you are. Thou art God being Becky, an emanation of The Infinite. You are ‘streaming’ the energy that creates worlds, Universes and everything within them. Therefore the doubt in your abilities or direction or future or wealth are merely fairy tales and ego trickery and have no place in this world of truth. Do not get stuck in your own SEAL training. Now is your time to fly. Because what you’ve done with that training (your story) has been remarkable and powerful and you have had an impact. It is also ego trickery, that ‘impact’ thing. It’s a narrow ledge, one requiring intense strength to stay in the Light, and not in the self importance that is easy to fall prey to. Maya Angelou did not seek to have ‘impact’. She sought the avenues for her heart to thrive and sing. And then, the impact was born and her reach expanded.

Focus this day on your life after your SEAL training. Focus on and love yourself for all you’ve done, lived, felt, played, travelled, created, learned,  loved, enjoyed, marveled at, spent, earned, told, advised and been advised. Now that is powerful beyond measure. The joy of this journey is the aftermath  of the ‘SEAL’ training and cannot be separated.

There is great Love here for you.

So there it is!  Each chapter building on the last, adding richness and texture. I am the culmination of all I’ve lived, what I’ve chosen to focus on and what dreams I dream for myself and my next phase. and so are you! There is no ‘there’ because there’s always the next yearning, wishing, craving and the perfection is in the imperfection. I love it this way. It’s no longer defeating to think I will always want more because the ‘more’ I want is being refined. More love, more fun, more living from my abundant heart, more learning and expanding, more skills, and yep, more acquisitions! Just think, if we ever all became satisfied with it all, there would be no more discoveries, inventions, toys, friendships, lovers, children, pets, music, art, gardens, travel, and house remodels! Whew!!  I am besotted with Life!!