Anyone or anything that focuses on what’s wrong with you, how you aren’t enough or worse, wildly screwed up, and then poses as the one and only with all the answers, RUN.
Only look at events or issues long enough to get distinctions. You/I am the pure Essence of capability! We were born from a Creator that makes the moons and stars and planets and galaxies! Holy smoke! The author of the book What a Plant Knows, compares some of the capabilities of plants with humans and describes the miracles and majesty that are in our very own eyes. Check this out: as you are reading this, there are rods and cones in the retina at the back of your eyeball, 130 million of them! Each one of these have chemical proteins that receive the wave of light around you, what you focus on and in your peripheral vision, absorb it like an antenna, and send a signal to the brain that makes it into a coherent picture. This happens every second your eyes are open! We are deeply complex and miraculous humans, and need to give ourselves way more credit than we do. We learn and evolve, distinctions and discoveries being the optional pumping up of the joy factor.
How could we for one minute think we are problems needing to be fixed? Worse, to sign on to someone or something that up-sells you into the next step which will be up-sold into the next step and using that as a means to show you you’re never quite done. Not fixed and need more of their expertise. And usually there’s a high price tag which we rationalize. Here’s what I’ve found about that. First, who you are, was, and always will be is enough. Everything else is frosting. Your cake is perfect. The items/ingredients for the ‘frosting’ on my never-ending list are for my own curiosity and having as much fun in the process as I can stand. If I do that alone, I will be contributing and giving back to the world. Why? Because every feeling and every thought I have are like a beacon that is sent into the world. And it matters. Every thought is a vote into ‘public opinion’, the collective. It’s a big responsibility, right? But if your life is full of ease, grace and flow, and those around you are affected, this will make you a hero of your time.
I heard someone say that the process of creating art is problem solving. It sounded accurate because when I paint, I have an idea, gather components from many sources, stand in front of that white empty board eager and excited. Then I get overwhelmed and the voice comes in to tell me I’m not capable of pulling through me the vision I had. Not skilled enough. (Problem) But because I love making art so much and because I’ve encountered this before and scaled that mountain, I jump in anyway and persevere with enthusiasm until I get to another place where, when I stand back, it seems to be not working. (Problem) . Sometimes I walk away, sometimes I correct or rework an area until I have forward momentum again! That’s the juice of the artist! At some point, you decide it’s done and you sign it ceremoniously, and start the process again. Here comes the good part:
Tashina, a wise friend of mine offered another different point of view to me last week. She said that maybe it’s not that I get to the next ‘problem’ stage, but rather what’s next is revealed to me exactly when I’m ready but not before. Painting happens in layers and seeing more as you go deeper and refining. It can’t happen in one session. It happens in the next logical step. I thought about this and how amazing it is to see not only art this way, but everything that hasn’t occurred yet in my life that I want.
I want to find a house to lease or buy that’s great for me. I’ve been like a dog on a bone about this. I expected to live here for a couple of years and the owners are selling, so I must move again. I’m reminding myself many times daily that things always work out for me but the frustration factor has been building. What I decided today is that where I’m moving hasn’t been revealed yet, maybe the owners of my next house are just now deciding to put the house up for lease or sale. A good friend I had breakfast with yesterday had his amazing sanctuary revealed to him and he wasn’t even looking to move. His focus was on ‘this or something better’ and because he had no conflicting thoughts or pressure, it appeared!
I’ve also been planning an art show in a place and in a way that it is showcased well, where I can invite everyone I know to see it, and easily acquire it for their home or business, exactly like I want it, have great entertainment, media presence and a night to remember. When I let go of the frustration factor of planning yet another move while working on the show, I got a call from Stephanie Malcolm’s company Room By Room, interested in showcasing all my art in a home in Del Mar that will appear in magazines, on television and there will be a big party, all handled by them! Voila!
Think of it this way: that rut you find yourself in has a specific feeling because you’ve practiced it. You know it well. So you then desire something else. It’s like you’re a waiter and you go hand the chef the order. What would be perfect is to walk away, order is being prepared, step by step. Come back later and it’s ready for the taking. But then you pray for it, beg for it, get angry or depressed because you don’t have it yet, blame others (mate, family, Obama, Congress, gloomy weather). And then you’re in a downward spiral. You beat the drum of ‘poor you’ and ‘not fair’. You get a speeding ticket. Can’t find parking, unexpected bill comes in, can’t find a house to lease or buy, you get the picture. But how do you get out of that mire? Even if it’s a teeny tiny mire, bad gets worse. Meanwhile, the chef is still preparing your order, but you keep interrupting the process by questioning, checking his ingredients, getting in the way of the feast.
That same feeling of wanting, isn’t the feeling required to get the result you want. It’s tricky. If we honestly look at this list, it’s easy to see why we did and didn’t get our wishes based on the emotions we had. It has nothing to do with anyone else. It also doesn’t work to try harder, do more! I’ve been going online to look for houses, driving around aimlessly through neighborhoods, irritating my realtor, basically nagging the Chef of the Universe while the beacon of my vibes is a jagged desperate frustration being sent into my environment. What I know for sure that I will NOT get what I want this way!
So shake that off and imagine this:
Here’s what’s working for me when I get nutty. I take time every single morning to enter the day slowly, do my prayer and meditation and write in my journal. It’s not a diary of what I did yesterday. I ask Guidance to come through my writing and just let it rip. Then I ask for a blessing on the day’s list of activities. It’s clearly the most important and enjoyable part of my day. I don’t watch the news!! I go outdoors and enjoy nature, even if it’s briefly, or in a place I’m traveling. I schedule time for writing and painting and keep my word to myself. I get my body moving. After all, this miraculous irreplaceable vehicle is my ride into Eternity! I call or write to someone I love to keep in touch! I appreciate my God! And I appreciate you!
Life is what we make it!